Not only is “self” a tough thing to fix, the fix can only be accomplished by taking a good hard look into how we think. We do this by visiting our mind to specifically observe how we have trained ourselves to think and who we believe we are.
Many people feel they don’t have the time to practice self-care. They secretly feel they don’t need, or more than likely don’t feel they deserve self-care. Their “norm” is to feel that other people, places and things must always come first. This type of “thinking” is actually part of what is called the “martyr complex” and it can become a very unhealthy, painful way to think and live. Been there, done this and am still working on it.
There are three things that can help kick-start the process of breaking free from the “I come last” belief system. Journaling is very helpful during this process.
- This is first and foremost the most difficult yet important step. It requires practicing being HONEST WITH YOURSELF. Everyday thinking can become camouflaged by what we think others are thinking. That is not personal truth – it’s their truth. Learning how to be honest with self requires deep courage and a strong desire to begin your living life as an authentically empowered individual – not as an extension of someone else.
- Secondly, begin taking responsibility for all decisions, feelings and life events you create in your life. Here again, this step can be painfully difficult. By choosing to be responsible for your entire life, you accept and are able to draw a line between what you will and will not do in your life. You learn what is important enough to you to become a “no exceptions” belief. This type of honesty allows you to be proud of every little step you take, no matter how difficult, as you learn how to heal by honoring WHO YOU AUTHENTICALLY ARE.
- Thirdly, learn to VALUE YOURSELF. When you learn to respect, love and honor yourself, you learn how to say the shortest most avoided word in the English language. NO. Saying “NO” to anything that doesn’t serve you such as blaming and self-deprecation. Says NO builds confidence in yourself. It is that victory that will empower you to speak your truth at all times and become powerfully comfortable in your own skin.
Authentic power has its roots in the deepest source of our being – it cannot be bought, inherited, or hoarded. It all about choosing how you feel and what you’ll do as you live life.
Wishing you wisdom, love and joy.